Self Diagnosis and Solutions

I have two major problems, (I most likely have several more that I'm not yet privy to).Oh but don't worry they're not life threatening, well I hope not.. I suffer from Chronic Tardiness and I'm Geographically Challenged. I'm pretty sure that neither of them have any known cures.

Those who know me, know this about me, and if they are really close to me they also hate this about me. Which in my opinion is just mean. Seriously they are conditions that I have absolutely no control over. I think NYU Medical Center should do studies. I'd participate. That way I can carry around my Doctors note that will say the following:

For the Chronic Tardiness condition-

To Whom it may concern,

It is unlawful to hold Miss Kay Oss responsible for tartness at anytime.
She suffers from a little known condition called "Chronic Tardiness".
This condition causes its sufferers to be tardy to everything all the time.

It is advised that you not scold, reprimand or even mention the condition in front of the sufferer as it commonly causes the sufferer embarrassment and on occasion very serious reactions.

If you would like to learn more about this condition, you can contact The Center for Chronic Tardiness studies, or log on to

Dr. Blah Blah

and for The Geographically Challenged it would go something like this-

To Whom it may concern,

It has been discovered that Miss Kay Oss has a rare condition that unfortunately renders her Geographically Challenged. It is advised that you NEVER leave her responsible for;
A. Knowing what direction she is traveling at any time
B. Not being able to find any physical location EVER!
C. Not knowing the first thing about reading a Map.

It is also advised to never get angry if she repeatedly takes you in the wrong direction. (it was your fault for continuing to let her lead you)

If you would like to learn more about this condition you may contact The Center for the Geographically Challenged" or log on to

Dr. Blahblah Blah

< /KO >

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