Ass Seen on TV

I'm a sucker for infomercials. I'm serious I want and buy everything and I'm not rich, nor am I in any position to buy everything. No really I watched that damned infomercial for the "Magic Bullet" like 500 times. You know the one with Mick and Mimi entertaining their guest and making everything from salsa to fettucini Alfredo to frozen cocktails in 1-2-3 seconds. I wanted that damned thing for more than a year, finally I got it for Christmas. I tried to make things in it the way Mick and Mimi did. Like salsa, I make salsa from scratch all the time and its so time consuming to have to cut up the tomatoes and onions and garlic and peppers. So I thought this would be perfect for that. Unfortunately it just turned everything into puree, and I like chunky salsa. Everything you put in there turns to puree. I stopped using it, its now taking up space in my cupboard collecting dust.. ho hum..

But that didn't stop me THEN after a sleepless night in front of the TV somehow Lauren Hutton convinced me that I needed her face disk.. so I picked up the phone about 4am called the 800 number, by the way, I only had 7 minutes left to get the free gift with purchase. Needless to say when it arrived, I tried it and it failed to make me look "years younger" so I put it in a box under the sink with all the other beauty products gone wrong.

So THEN another sleepless night about a month later Susan Lucci, who by the way looks really good for being in her 50's.. 50's? hmm. Anyway, so yeah I saw her, she said her product would make me glow like she glows.. so I logged on and bought it.. and somehow I have been enrolled into some secret Susan Lucci club that charges me about $30 a month and continues to send me products I didn't ask for.. I have to admit I use this product.. I like it.. and it vibrates, and that's never a bad thing.

Lastly, I recently watched the Bare Minerals infomercial and immediately went out to sephora and bought the "starter kit".. I tried to use it once, but it totally dries out my already dry skin. So I threw it into the box with Lauren Huttons face disk.

So whats the lesson here? One fourth of items purchased on TV turn out to be useful.

< /KO >


barbara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
barbara said...

too funny, just too damn funny. i remember the look on your face as you discovered the magic bullet wasn't so magical after all. heartbreaking